Oftentimes, I come home and just say to myself "I hate my life." Mostly because I'm lonely and I wish I had friends I could be honest with. But I guess I don't wish that, because I'm only good at shallow friendships. I'm just a crappy friend in general. I'm so tired of my life, I literally can't think of any reasons anymore to get up in the morning, I just get up anyway and I don't know why anymore.

What I've taken a liking to doing is reading wikipedia articles about things I don't understand any words of. I know it's English, but there's no way I'll ever know what it means. It's comforting, in a way, to know how many things I'll never have an impact on. The same way facebook flipping helps me know I'll never know most of the people in the world. It's nice to know that I really am not important.

sigh

Okay, so a lot's happened, not that you read this or anything. But Chris and I have become just friends. And then there's the whole thing where I really like Pack, but it's kind of this thing because my friend, Star, ....... well.. I like Pack, Pack likes Star, Chris likes Star, Star likes John (and Chris, AND pack).......so what does Nicole get out of this, hmm?? a bunch of play and no game. Confused, confused, NEVER GO FOR YOUR FRIENDS! REGRET!

....

I feel rather discouraged