swaaaane flu

i awoke this morning to the chorus of anna molly. to anyone who knows me well enough, this is my glorius ringtone. as i am jerked out of my restless slumber [ a nightmare about my father blah blhalahlejrfe], i reach for my phone and answer: "mherlerjhellow?" and i get hung up on after "wrongnumberbye" pooo poo poo.
and as i let myself wake up, i think i've started to feel the effects of hanging around someone who has the swine flu {billy!!}.. so i head to the kitchen to find something to settle my stomach. the best i can find is grape juice and tortlla chips with half a banana. pretty much a typical brekkers... ugh..., from the shins to peanut butter. i am doomed. dooooooomed!!!*sigh*

blah blah blah

sometimes i honestly wonder what on earth I'm doing here. *sigh* anyway, so far i have made 600 bucks. one fifth of my way to the goal of *DUN DUN DUN* 3000 moolahs. i spend my days going from house to place, watchin screamin kids scream, and i clean. i clean like hecky peck. in my free time, i visit our magnificent two-story library and put books in the wrong place. whenever i come back, they are in their rightful areas. always. this gives me hope that, yes, someone out there truly has it worse off than me. there are people who search through the shelves and return [last name author] 'schmidt' back upstairs from where it was ingeniously placed between two books written by F.Scott Fitzgerald. *sigh* now and then chill with billy lester and ava. keepin it cool.
i have decided that the repeating soundtrack to this summer so far is "Boyz in the Hood" cover by dynamite hack
trust me, it fits.
one of my jobs is turning on the sprinklers at my dentists' house (better not piss them off!). they've gone to like north dakota or arkansas on vacation or something. i turn on the sprinklers and sit on the steps for 15 minutes. then i turn them off, and turn on the other set of sprinklers.
hard stuff. i better be making some serious bank, man. i'll take the time to remind you, i am often sarcastic. i am a poem, not a microsoft manual.
*sigh* im a pinecone

one good thing happened this week. i met this boy who looks like this -> with like.. bit longer hair. i just about died. he isnt that cooll i guess, but he looks really keen, man. and he can play the guitar. i was riding my bike when i hear my name being screamed. i stop and am tackled by my ex-freshman-now-sophomore-something friend named AMBURRRRReiiiii who was hanging with some girl and this good-looking chap.
i am surrounded by hot guys and i am a pinecone. it's torture, knowing that the thought of me as something other than "one of the guys" makes said hot guys throw up in their mouths. *sighs*
even CHRIS knows what making out with a guy is like. when straight boys have more experience with boys than you,..then you KNOW it's bad. ... it's bad...
in other news, michael jackson died. huhm. i dunno. alien ant farm's cover of smooth criminal ..is nice. yikes, man.
if sean maher died, however, i would be heartbroken, honestly. severely so.

i thought that once it was summer my problems with sleeping would depart
alas, seeing as the past few days have remained just the same as all the others, such is not the case
tragical
i shall add to my list of unattainables..
yeah just check that out
anyway, i was watching television with my family [dad counts not talking and staring at a mindnumbing device.. as family time!]
and a commercial popped up with some dimwitted investigator.. "how many eight year olds would attempt suicide?" which kind of struck a chord with me because damn i've never told a soul, so i may as well tell the whole internet that although i was only 8 and never tried anything, i very much wanted to die. funny how when you're that little, it doesnt quite occur to you that you can take matters into your own hands. and i wasnt stupid enough to ask my parents a quick and easy way to off myself when i was so frickin adorablei say that as a joke. this is a picture of me at eight

oh well. i dont like to think about how i constantly want to die. if i were to mention it, some idiot boy would crack a joke BECAUSE YORE TOO UGLY TO LIVE, LOVE!
'lright
i mean, it's not like im sad ALL the time. i just get real low sometimes. it's gotten better since i was smaller. kind of. not at all
who cares?
all that matters is IM GOING TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!! i have many friends
family doesnt matter honestly. im going to try to forget all the past once i leave
that is my only hope

rockamormon

yeah tis been a great while

thou art shamed!!! yeah i know im like so utterly creative
sparklebutt=gay cheerleader man

oh wait
yeah
[see what i mean?]
so kevin was gonna take me to prom
emphasis on the gonna. he in fact copped out leaving me to go with some guy i didnt know and consequently ignored the whole evening. i would have felt worse about ditching him had i not had a breakdown due to sugar highness
two words CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!! jaljeoroweirojwerojweroijweojr
oh
anyways i graduated high school like.. uhh 3 days ago
and in the process i discovered [for like the fifth time] that i've yet again fallen for my friend.
to distract from this troubling fact i shall supplement this "riveting" entry with someone possibly better looking
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
yeah the matrix just about blew my mind

so yesterday me and my good friend danielle decided it would be a good idea to try out a relatively local singles student ward since we've graduated. so after our regular ward, we hopped in her mum's awesome convertible and took off [ahem.. with permission... sigh]. we got lost. and thus arrived an hour late. upon entering the building, we heard the sweet sounds of singing students and we deftly took a pew PEW~! PEW! -sarah palin .... we were quickly surrounded by overly welcoming hands saying ARE YOU STAYING IN THIS WARD <-- this particular statement was uttered by an okay-looking but obsequious individual several times and i began to feel the creepy vibe emanciating from the entire building. the following two hours followed as expected.
i dont want to talk about it .. it was horrible

yes yes yes
following my boring graduation came a well meaning but equally boring high school event. they lock an amount of ex-seniors in the school gym with various activities and lound r&b music for an all-nighter. perhaps this is fun if you are in a relationship and can sneak off and have sex somewhere, but for mormon singulars it gets boring after four or so hours. i was attempting to sleep in the designated sleeping area and ignoring all the couples silently going for it when christopher walks over and pulls me up without saying anything. we walk outside with some friends and i am feeling a bit whatever... VENTUROUS YEAH okay so i pull the
"im coldddd ;__; " and like hug him
so he gives me his shirt like all night. but i dont know if he did that because he is drunk or because he is like ehh
iono
bleh
it smelled like him and he smells like alcohol. i dont know

BONE

due my dear ami jason has led me to become addicted to Continuum, this online game he is obsessed with. the only difference is i suck at it and so take long, frustrated breaks from the game that i use to read harry potter and BONE
if you've never heard of BONE, educate yourself