visible monsters

It's days like this when i realize I've eaten about 1200 calories worth of low-quality cornchips from the discount grocery store. Outside, the weather varies between snow flurries and halfway overcast. I didn't read the questions through in chemistry and failed a quiz I could have easily gotten 100% on. Sometimes, I swear I'm screwing myself over on purpose.
The suggested 'interesting' question is "what is the story behind your username?" There is one, but it is quite boring.
The other day, I wrote a nearly 2-page email to my mom. I got a 1-sentence response. I don't think I'll write back. There really isn't any point. It's just been one of those weeks, y'know? The kind where you forget to put your macaroni and cheese into tupperware and it gets all gross and you wasted like a buck and a half. And the person you want to spend all your time with is the person you avoid. And you ride your bike around in the snow listening to reel big fish and bad religion cause there's nothing better to do.. -sigh- It's just the familiar old feeling of not belonging where you are. My favorite allegory for my situation is I came from a high school world of hexagons to a college world of octagons, and I am a heptagon. Pretty much useless, and very odd.
meh meh meh!
I like all kinds of music especially MUSE. MUSE MUSE MUSE. also, very much Ska, grunge, acoustic, and crap punk. I enjoy other things, but i really like crap-sounding punk. And, honestly, nearly anything from the 80's.. you know what? don't get me started on music because i will end up confessing long-windedly what is perfectly summarized in the first sentence of this paragraph.
hmm.. i finished invisible monsters by chuck palahniuk today. I have to say i enjoyed RANT looooads more. then again, it was his first novel-type thing, so i'll give him a break.

um

made out with adam

don't judge me

well

i think trenton and brian were spying on me out of brian's apartment. i guess i can't say much, as i did spend 10 minutes one night watching brian walk around without a shirt. he is so ripped. he is fine. though i do wonder about these men. i like lars. since no one will ever read this I LIKE LARS. sigh. so many men, so little cuddling. sigh sighey sigh. i could go for some major touch. i feel like a lame loooooser ish. i like larsssssss but i think i am sending mixed messages as i call him friend but i always sit next to him and hug and stuff. i like him. DARN IT I SAID I WOULDNT LIKE ANYONE AFTER MY FIASCOES. well, not so much fiascoes as nothing attempts to get me a man.
i could go for some major popcorn. i'm starving

i nommed it. i nommed the WHOLE thing

today was the day of all days
twas the day saraface nommed two candy bars (peanutbutter twix and peanutbutter m&ms) if it wasn't already me, one might ask why on earth all the peanut butter? because the creamery marked all those kinds of candy down 10 cents. 10! that is like a whole dime!
would you mooch?
i mooch
I MOOCH NINE TIMES!
anyway, today in physio lab, i was the blood tester and stabbed myself over 11 times to try and get blood out of my fingers. perhaps twere i a twilight fangirl i'd go "ZOMGZORGLE I WISH EDWARD WAS THERE!!!!<3<3<3" ...
uh
well this is awkward
I HAS AB+ blood!!! ftwwww i join 3% of US citizens. 2.5% in Canada. 2% Australia. 10% Korea. It's decided. I'm moving to asia right now


donnie darko was pretty much amazing.. it reminded me of The Oral Biography of Buster Casey. Which was considerably better, but that is because it was a book.


i am attending BYU, for all you avid readers. (cough) it's been awhile, im sure.

I was walking home alone from the ward activity tonight when Cody from the other night came home and walked back to Wyview with me. I really don't think RMs are as scary as Kelley makes them out to be. Well, excepting Jordan... speaking of which! after we got back to Wyview, neither of us really felt like going back home/doing homework so we kept walking around trying to find others who were thinking similarly. We passed Jordan on one of our cycles and I kind of tried to send out THIS IS TOTALLY MY BOYFRIEND vibes so he'd leave me alone, even though I don't really like Cody that way. I don't know how successful it was....

In the end, we ended up at Ray's again, playing video games. At curfew, Cody walked me home.. no one's ever done that before.. i wasnt sure how to say good-bye (is there a code for this??) i mean, i hardly know him.. so i awkwardly high-fived him. 5 seconds later, i realized that just saying good-bye would have been a million times better than that. ah idiot sanniii

Fun times

NSO dance. UGHHH so Kelley and Nate were starting to get a bit goggley and i felt 3rd-wheelish so i went into the games room. I was innocently playing connect-4 on my own-ey when this large, okay-looking dude comes and sits across from me. he was all WANNA PLAY?

and i was all UH..OKAY.. even though i kinda just wanted to go home

and he kept freaking beating me and then started going easy on me which is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE and i told him so. i think he mistook this for flirting because he suggested that for every turn, we had to ask the other person a question. "to get to know each other" and he would ask follow-up questions and such. so i tried to be nice, but i started getting creepy vibes and i was also running out of questions. what time is it??? and then the dance stuff ended and he was like

SO CAN I WALK YOU HOME?

and im like effffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffsickles i live a MILE a way!!! I DON'T KNOW YOU!!??

luckily, kelley had apparently tried to call me, so i ran away on the excuse i need to call my roommate. I don't hardly know her but i wanted to freaking marry her. because i'm too nice to lie sometimes so i'd probably end up walking home with a rapist or something.

So tonight we were like lounging around doing nothing, Kelley and her friend Adam and I. Suddenly there was a KNOCK at the door and a bunch of guys were standing at our door.

uh... hello?

HI YOU GUYS WANNA HANG OUT (look into appartment)

uh... what would we do?

(silence) ...STUFF.. WE'VE GOT GRAPES?

kelley...?

i don't know, Nicole... what do they want?

okay, sure.. Kelley Adam like get on shoes

AWESOME (door shuts)

i don't want to (Adam: They look like mouth breathers)

wtf does that even mean? kelley get shoes

i don't want to

we've got to meet new people! and these ones are guys!! come on!!

very eventually, we opened the door again and the guys were still there and we shuffled to their apartment, which was filled with guys. (whisper nicole we're the only girls)

since when has that been a bad thing?

One of the guys was obviously the ringleader, Ray... I don't remember all their names. There was Cody, Lloyd, Rob... I don't know who was who though... Travis I remember because he STUFFED A WHOLE APPLE IN HIS MOUTH and it was freaky! We mostly talked about our majors and kinda awkward sauce.. It was pretty okay, the guys seem really nice.

ran

i went running in the dark last night with brent and jason


i think i will miss them more than ever now :[

SHARKS

well, it's nearing the late hours, and i am in need of some seriously dark chocolate or else i will be forced to turn to hard drugs. err yeah. it is almost the 5th and that means i have fifteen days left before i go to college.
it all seems too near, and it keeps happening that i look up to the crappy weather and feel oddly horrified that i will soon be somewhere that consistently has interesting weather. I CANT TAKE IT. basically, i spend all my time playing continuum and reading scifi books. =sad anyway yesterday moi and le gang headed out for the prius trip of a lifetime.

we go into the car and head towards the great beach.. we get somewhat lost, but make it there eventually and go swimming in the ice cold water. then the SUN comes out and we all get sunburned because we fell asleep.
at one point i think i see a
in the waves..
but lester says it is a sea lion
HE IS MISTAKEN IT WAS A SHARK I SWEAR... which didnt stop me from venturing in towards the waves ^^

all-in-all, i have gotten better at the space game. somewhere between suckage and mediocre

last night, as i tired of the game, i sign in to aim. this is a mistake. because at 1:30am, the only people online are idiot gaming losers like chris, and emotionally unstable people longing for a cybertronic shoulder to figuratively cry on. sigh. so of course, my dear friend [whom i have only spoken to in person ONCE, [the day after my 8th grade graduation]] who is known for being particularly expressive about his troubles, jumps at my screename and ravages it with his LONG LONG LOVE STORY THAT CAN NEVER BE. i literrally wanted to kill myself after an hour of his unceasing typing. i was too tired to search for a proper butcher knife or poison to off myself tragically. i wanted to shout ... er... type in all caps.. to him I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU STOP COMING TO ME WITH YOUR PROBLEMS ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i continued responding to his torturously boring sentences. i am then called a "good friend" great listener, friendy friendy BLAHBLAHBLAH

i dont think it counts as being a friend if all you do is listen to some person talk. especially if you are playing minesweeper whilst occasionally putting a :[ emoticon in between his complaints. if not caring counts as friendship,then something is terribly wrong with this society. or me.. i dont know. all i know is there is no one to complain to for me. i know how BORING it is to listen to someone go on and on, that i always condense my stories into 3 sentences or so. but usually i say nothing at all.

since i just know

well, people inform me things though i never quite ask for the info. MAGGAAAA GOT ARRESTED HAHHAHAHAHA!!! stupid druggie!!
in other news, after seeing harry potter #6, i have decided that
tom felton is worthy of this entry. but only because he cried in the most recent movie.
ahhhhh crying.. ahahahahahahahaha

THE WEASLEY HOUSE NEVER CAUGHT ON FIRE!!!#$%@$#&^%^&#$!!
stupid movie, though i liked it anyways


thats about all

back from dreamland

one of those nights where i remember every dream
it mixes people i know, real events, with horror
blood senseless violence and can't make it stop
and i know im lucky that i live somewhere where i can wake up from this kind of thing
but i cant stop seeing the images created from my own subconscious
i feel really, really sick and fearful

choices, choices, choices

i sit here, an hour before taking the kids i babysit to the local pool. at which there is a lifeguard [whose hotness status is still in question]. so.. should i be doing situps, running around and drinking water? or should i be lazing away, consuming chocolate. seeing as i will within the hour be wearing a swimsuit, i think it is obvious that i eat more chocolate.
*sighs* i am such a fatty
oi oi oi
in the past 40 hours i have read I AM LEGEND and THE ROAD
they both are quite similar
i liked the road better, because there were no quotation marks
fyi IN BOTH, THE MAIN CHARACTERS DIE AT THE END
not to ruin it for you or anything ^__^;;

NIN the slip is for free on the site. i think i just died of happy
because all my money and i mean like ALL [minus tithing] is going towards mah college college college and so where i USED to be able to buy used cds of [insert random artist name here], i can no longer buy moosic. i am left with what i've already got, so it's rather refreshing to have some new tooooones .. :D

cd's i very much wouldnt mind having

morning view- Incubus
S.C.I.E.N.C.E. - Incubus
pretty hate machine - NIN
with teeth - NIN
[self titled] -the airborne toxic event
grow up and blow away - metric
revelations- audioslave
coming to terms- carolina liar
finding beauty in negative spaces - seether
disclaimer - seether

feel like donatine? :DDD ahahhah

im tired of listening to music on youtube >:{

swaaaane flu

i awoke this morning to the chorus of anna molly. to anyone who knows me well enough, this is my glorius ringtone. as i am jerked out of my restless slumber [ a nightmare about my father blah blhalahlejrfe], i reach for my phone and answer: "mherlerjhellow?" and i get hung up on after "wrongnumberbye" pooo poo poo.
and as i let myself wake up, i think i've started to feel the effects of hanging around someone who has the swine flu {billy!!}.. so i head to the kitchen to find something to settle my stomach. the best i can find is grape juice and tortlla chips with half a banana. pretty much a typical brekkers... ugh..., from the shins to peanut butter. i am doomed. dooooooomed!!!*sigh*

blah blah blah

sometimes i honestly wonder what on earth I'm doing here. *sigh* anyway, so far i have made 600 bucks. one fifth of my way to the goal of *DUN DUN DUN* 3000 moolahs. i spend my days going from house to place, watchin screamin kids scream, and i clean. i clean like hecky peck. in my free time, i visit our magnificent two-story library and put books in the wrong place. whenever i come back, they are in their rightful areas. always. this gives me hope that, yes, someone out there truly has it worse off than me. there are people who search through the shelves and return [last name author] 'schmidt' back upstairs from where it was ingeniously placed between two books written by F.Scott Fitzgerald. *sigh* now and then chill with billy lester and ava. keepin it cool.
i have decided that the repeating soundtrack to this summer so far is "Boyz in the Hood" cover by dynamite hack
trust me, it fits.
one of my jobs is turning on the sprinklers at my dentists' house (better not piss them off!). they've gone to like north dakota or arkansas on vacation or something. i turn on the sprinklers and sit on the steps for 15 minutes. then i turn them off, and turn on the other set of sprinklers.
hard stuff. i better be making some serious bank, man. i'll take the time to remind you, i am often sarcastic. i am a poem, not a microsoft manual.
*sigh* im a pinecone

one good thing happened this week. i met this boy who looks like this -> with like.. bit longer hair. i just about died. he isnt that cooll i guess, but he looks really keen, man. and he can play the guitar. i was riding my bike when i hear my name being screamed. i stop and am tackled by my ex-freshman-now-sophomore-something friend named AMBURRRRReiiiii who was hanging with some girl and this good-looking chap.
i am surrounded by hot guys and i am a pinecone. it's torture, knowing that the thought of me as something other than "one of the guys" makes said hot guys throw up in their mouths. *sighs*
even CHRIS knows what making out with a guy is like. when straight boys have more experience with boys than you,..then you KNOW it's bad. ... it's bad...
in other news, michael jackson died. huhm. i dunno. alien ant farm's cover of smooth criminal ..is nice. yikes, man.
if sean maher died, however, i would be heartbroken, honestly. severely so.

i thought that once it was summer my problems with sleeping would depart
alas, seeing as the past few days have remained just the same as all the others, such is not the case
tragical
i shall add to my list of unattainables..
yeah just check that out
anyway, i was watching television with my family [dad counts not talking and staring at a mindnumbing device.. as family time!]
and a commercial popped up with some dimwitted investigator.. "how many eight year olds would attempt suicide?" which kind of struck a chord with me because damn i've never told a soul, so i may as well tell the whole internet that although i was only 8 and never tried anything, i very much wanted to die. funny how when you're that little, it doesnt quite occur to you that you can take matters into your own hands. and i wasnt stupid enough to ask my parents a quick and easy way to off myself when i was so frickin adorablei say that as a joke. this is a picture of me at eight

oh well. i dont like to think about how i constantly want to die. if i were to mention it, some idiot boy would crack a joke BECAUSE YORE TOO UGLY TO LIVE, LOVE!
'lright
i mean, it's not like im sad ALL the time. i just get real low sometimes. it's gotten better since i was smaller. kind of. not at all
who cares?
all that matters is IM GOING TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!! i have many friends
family doesnt matter honestly. im going to try to forget all the past once i leave
that is my only hope

rockamormon

yeah tis been a great while

thou art shamed!!! yeah i know im like so utterly creative
sparklebutt=gay cheerleader man

oh wait
yeah
[see what i mean?]
so kevin was gonna take me to prom
emphasis on the gonna. he in fact copped out leaving me to go with some guy i didnt know and consequently ignored the whole evening. i would have felt worse about ditching him had i not had a breakdown due to sugar highness
two words CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!! jaljeoroweirojwerojweroijweojr
oh
anyways i graduated high school like.. uhh 3 days ago
and in the process i discovered [for like the fifth time] that i've yet again fallen for my friend.
to distract from this troubling fact i shall supplement this "riveting" entry with someone possibly better looking
hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot
yeah the matrix just about blew my mind

so yesterday me and my good friend danielle decided it would be a good idea to try out a relatively local singles student ward since we've graduated. so after our regular ward, we hopped in her mum's awesome convertible and took off [ahem.. with permission... sigh]. we got lost. and thus arrived an hour late. upon entering the building, we heard the sweet sounds of singing students and we deftly took a pew PEW~! PEW! -sarah palin .... we were quickly surrounded by overly welcoming hands saying ARE YOU STAYING IN THIS WARD <-- this particular statement was uttered by an okay-looking but obsequious individual several times and i began to feel the creepy vibe emanciating from the entire building. the following two hours followed as expected.
i dont want to talk about it .. it was horrible

yes yes yes
following my boring graduation came a well meaning but equally boring high school event. they lock an amount of ex-seniors in the school gym with various activities and lound r&b music for an all-nighter. perhaps this is fun if you are in a relationship and can sneak off and have sex somewhere, but for mormon singulars it gets boring after four or so hours. i was attempting to sleep in the designated sleeping area and ignoring all the couples silently going for it when christopher walks over and pulls me up without saying anything. we walk outside with some friends and i am feeling a bit whatever... VENTUROUS YEAH okay so i pull the
"im coldddd ;__; " and like hug him
so he gives me his shirt like all night. but i dont know if he did that because he is drunk or because he is like ehh
iono
bleh
it smelled like him and he smells like alcohol. i dont know

BONE

due my dear ami jason has led me to become addicted to Continuum, this online game he is obsessed with. the only difference is i suck at it and so take long, frustrated breaks from the game that i use to read harry potter and BONE
if you've never heard of BONE, educate yourself

who needs five dollar foot longs?

""""If you had to enter the Witness Protection Program, whom would you find it the hardest to NOT ever contact again?""""
what a very odd question, livejournal. i'd have to say the old guy at the corner store who sells candy bars for 75 cents. THATS 24 CENTS CHEAPER THAN THE GROCERY STORE OHMYGOSH
speaking of the cornerstore, i bought my dinner there last night apres le nager. kiwistrawberry juice, poptarts and gum. the best. only four bucks. also saw migs. i punched him and ran away
very mature, saniiii, very mature

trent reznor seems a very angry person. i'd like to meet him. i've decided i am secretly malicious and evil due to the fact that i am ADDICTED TO TORTURING SPARKLEPANTS mauauauuauauauhahahahahhamuuuuuuuuahahahhaha
i love being mean to him. and i feel bad for feeling happy. it is a complicated emotion that is topped off with an ~evil~ laugh. well, maybe if he weren't such a CREEPER i'd feel worse. :D --dance--

anyways i was at the game last night. an game of epic proportions. and disco music. i, mon ami, am a dancing FIEND. as said prior, the lovely miggy was present, sitting high in the bleachers all ~angry facing~ while i, near the middle with my awesome frrieeends was doing the wave and well.. dancing ?? fun times.. waiting for lester to get there... do do do.. leeeeeesssterrrr where are yoo0o0ouuu.. watching the door and suddenly the epitome of "not gay"-ness appeared. i pulled the *turn around and avoid being seen manoeuver* and whilst glancing back i realized HE WAS STARING RIGHT AT ME waiting for me to wave or some shizzo like that because [thank goodness for once] he's not even confident enough to find his own friggin' seat.
so i *ahem* ~pretended~ to be staring longingly at miguel *ahem* ~pretending~ until migs himself accidentally caught my eye and i freaked out. the only logical thing to do was to begin dancing. *dance dance dance dance heck yes i am dancing cough cough* this was all caught on video... sigh... well when i next looked up il a disparu!! and took to the bleachers on the whole other side of the gym with JACK ... lester never actually showed up :[ but it was ridiculously fun regardless

billy sent me a message [via mahspace] saying how ava kept him from going to the game. it was the most un-billy thing i've ever heard him.....well i guess i didnt hear him say it... but he has a very distinct way of phrasing things and this was writtin all different-like. obviously miffed. i went all *do do do awkward turtle*

turns out our whole varsity boys relay team qualifies for state. this includes kevin, chris, ori and michael [all of whom are aiming to attend prom] so there may be hope for my "ahem perfect night of dancing and more dancing"

yipee

"Whenever books are burned men also in the end are burned." --Heinrich Heine

farenheit 451 was the only book i sincerely liked reading for english. ................................ well........i plan to use it on my APtest because i dont remember any other book except for crime and punishment.

i am so uninteresting... sorry.,.

so....

"hurt" is just about the saddest song i have ever heard

coach's dryland from yesterday has made it so my thighs kind of cant move. i hobble around like im 98 years old
sometimes i wish i could sleep properly as to let my body heal up after such insanities as "the ring of fire"
lunges are of the devil, i swear.

cut practice to watch a bootleg of x-men origins with billy and lester, without the special effects ... not the best movie. GAMBIT WAS FINALLY IN AN XMEN MOVIE . .... he was always my favorite from like the comics :X
i read them when i was like seven, okay?? my brother was obsessed and i like worshipped him. my brother, i mean. well.. gambit too.

probably should have worked on my butterfly stroke. billy and ava are kinda fighting and i feel like... : XXXXXXXX ~tension~ je n'aime pas.

i've done my homework without actually ~doing~ my homework. trick is to use big words and write messy. at least at my school, the teachers are too stressed to actually attempt reading any low-points assignments. i only utilize brain power on like.. essays.. i have beautifully finetuned my slacker skills in my four years of high school..speaking of high, miguel wasnt today. it was weird. he was nice to me and joked around and acted like he used to last year when i so-called ~fell for him~ hah. psh. whatever. he will be back to "normal" by tomorrow.

i am afraid to get up. my legs might cease to support my body.
i am afraid to go to sleep. i might dream about zombies or something equally fleshily-harmful

i dont 'like' like billy. idont know why i get paranoid whenever ava is there, that she will think he's cheating on her. i get sooo paranoid. i read once that if you feel uncomfortable,it usually means you guys are more than friends. and i dont feel like more than friends.
in better news, i won ten bucks in statistics today because i was the first one to solve a matrix problem. ironic thing is i was doing my english homework during the lecture and i still beat everyone. sometimes i wonder if something is terribly wrong with the educational system. ten dollars. :D im RICH!!!!! [no sarcasm..]

"closer" is properly explicit... speaking of explicit is this boy in my french class [ and swim team of course ] has the best body i have ever seen. high school boys should not have six packs. it makes it extremely difficult to not run across the room and commence macking. frenching in french class. teehehehe..negative phrases in past tense were just not working for me. thank goodness im not a boy. thank goodness a thousand times over.
i know he's one of those ~concerned~ people. but like the songs at least

funny how everyone is using "FML" now. it's like......... the new "WTF" ......sigh.
i should have been a teenager in the late eighties. then i could call all these kids 'disrespectfulwhippersnappers' and not "peers" and then i'd have graduated highschoolabillionyearsago

laaaaaaaaa

i am convinced the only thing necessary in life is nine inch nails and charlie the unicorn.
then again, my brain is kinda shot from practice and overeating, so everything is kinda phenomenal.
nothing much matters, not james or jason or even marcus. my brain calls for precious sleep
sleep... it says.. CANNOT SLEEP
nevertheless i have A's in 4 classes, B- in the only class i need to pass in order to graduate, and a ? in maths.
i am only waiting until the fateful day in which i run across that stupid stage. and grad night. that should be rather cool sauce.
maybe THEN i will be able to sleep
i forsee at least three more hours of me killing time [but no homework being completed] dreadful
-> "i am really cool sauce" that is what he is saying
sleep is overrated
so are cookies. i made jason like twenty for his birthday and he didnt even make out with me
oh yeah, his girlfriend
poo.

Swimming

well "to get rid of writer's block" I AM POSED TO TELL YOU MAH FAVORITE COOKIE. instead i will tell you i close my eyes every time i downstroke for breastroke. i realized this lately, that if i keep my eyes open it feels like i am going nowhere. how very odd. OKAY FINE CHOCOLATE CHIP. what a let down.

sigh. it seems i have a million things to say until the point in time i have the opportunity to say something. HMPH
well, i shall turn to swimming. practice took FOREVER today. the whole frickin DAY took forever and a half. but half hour in i was pretty much thinking "yeah, i think i'll quit the team right now." but in reality, i dont want to let down chris [WHO AGAIN CUT PRACTICE], so i have to distract myself with things like "let's compare my relative speed in breastroke with my eyes open versus eyes closed." that took up about two minutes. FLY FISH FLY!
they look like fishies :D

today coach informed us that state swim competition is a month and three days from now.on the day of prom. to this announcement, my teamates kinda murmured "cough okay..?" because our underfunded swim team usually has no entries into the competition, and no one cares about state. nobody. maybe one or two in a good year.
alright, so about three weeks ago, i asked Kevin to go to prom with me HOW UNCONVENTIONAL SANI HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU COMMIT SUCH AN UNSPEAKABLE ACT??? okay, so the truth is, sparklebutt was the first one to ask me SO HOW BOUT THAT PROM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM and i responded OH DEAR MY, SOMEONE HAS ASKED ME PREViOUS TO YOU I AM DREADFULLY SORRY UM SANI UMWHO? KEVIN YOU DONT KNOW HIM HE GOES TO THE ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL MEANT FOR GENIUSES I USED TO GO THERE
BUT I WASNT QUITE SMART ENOUGH TO SUCCEED IN SUCH AN INSTITUTION UM THE OKAY COOL UM THE YEAH
after this conversation, i decided i should probably transform a lie into a semitruth, went home and VIA FACEBOOK asked him out. i was going to ask him anyways, but sparklebutt tends to be on the stalker-ish side and would probably track down poor kevin and interrogate him. and i dont like to be caught in lies. especially by "not-gay" creepers. the point of it all is Kevin was rather juiced it seemed, he is cute [borderline hot] and a swimmer. what more does a girl need? not much, mes amis, not much. it is like a fairy book tale.

SO GUESS WHO IT TURNS OUT IS THE ONLY TEAM SWIMMER WHO QUALIFIES FOR COUNTY COMPETITION [which is the same day as prom] WITH HIS PHENOMENAL 500free TIMES?
they say karma comes back around. i am dealing with the issue at hand by avoiding it DEALING WITH THIS LATER

so i turned to comtemplating the last class of the day, an underfunded art course. i walk in the door to see miggy sitting [as per usual] in the corner, painting another beautiful piece of art [*ahem* "not a bong"]. a new haircut and he is ALMOST clean shaven, but lit [as per usual] like a candle.
he, as the despicable senior he is, is flirting with Asia, a deviant freshman with little to no intelligence that i can detect. this is the second time in the past month she has actually come to the easiest class in the world to pass. [as per usual] i am ignored for the most part and all attempts at talking are misconstrued into sexual innuendos. T__T sigh... ANYWAY MIGGY IS A BIG FAT JERK FACE and i make up my mind that i hate him. i hate his guts, the jerk, the effin loser i hate him. i am going to cut class for the remainder of the year just so i wont have to see his ugly mug any longer. right then i see miguel get up to talk to this special ed student who shows him his clay bowl. he smiles and chats with him softly and then gives him a high five. all this unbeknownst to the clueless asia, who probably doesnt even know what "pi" is. [she doesnt]WHY CaaaaNT HE LET ME JUST HATE HIM? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO imperfectly PERFECT?!!??! something like this always happens. i love who he is, even if he isnt that same person when it comes to me. T__T
needless to say, this contemplation did not help me, much less the people behind me in the cycle swimming HOLDING UP THE LINE SWIM FASTER SANIIII sigh. sigh. sigh. can't butterfly.
lester bought me a burger at lunch today. billy called me over to go to lunch with everyone because his car had a spare seat and i jumped at the chance to hang out with ava lester and khalif even though i had no money. well saint chibi, i never have money anyway. i just said i wasnt really hungry and i just wanted to hang out and not eat :D.. so i sit back at the table while everyone goes to the counter to order. they come back BEARING FOOD AND GOODNESS. and lester hands me a chicken burger and i just about marry him right then and there. food is the way to my heart. sort of. i dont have feelings for lester. but i do for food. i was so happy sauce.
SWIM FASTER SANI SWIM FASTER THEY SAY .. well.. COACH SAYS.. teammates dont much care if they get to swim slower.. lazy bums

Characters

well, i am not going to bed anytime soon, so i may as well increase my blogosphericnessthingamajiggo. first of all. i love U2 so much. bono is like my newfound hero. i am currently somewhat obsessed with 80's music.. don't ask me why, but i find it quite utter awesome sauce. anyway, . HOORAY FOR uhh... whatsitcalled.... uh yeah.. for the reoccuring characters of my so-called life. !or whoever is most likely to show up on this whateverblogthingadoo.
**first of all is the token creepy dude i always seem to be plagued by. i will hereby refer to him as SPARKLEBUTT mostly due to the fact he is an [ex] male cheerleader who is "not gay" and perhaps the most mundane person in the world. He is rich, has been rich forever, and doesnt really understand the definition of tribulation or hardship. All in all, he wears a [REAL] leather jacket, talks in this weird lisp, and has a creepy spontaneous limp. He has been trying [in a tediously roundabout way] to get at me, and he happens to show up all the time. HE HAS A CAR, OKAY, PEOPLE? A GIRL NEEDS A RIDE SOMEWHERE EVERY NOW AND THEN. my association with him is currently unavoidable
**second is Billy.. okay? he is like my bestest buddy and counteracts the evil creepysauceness of sparklebutt by being the most awesome person in the world. he also drives a prius, and is thus my hero, because i can generally avoid asking sparklebutt for favors [any favor i ask of him is interpreted as me "secretly coming on to him" which is bad sauce]. he's got this hilarious deadpan-type humor and a girlfriend named Ava ..i cant describe how utterly perfect for each other they are, i almost want to cry because they are so cute together. Billy's best friend is Lester who is like the second most awesome person in the world. he has a wonderful sense of humor and a really good laugh. I think us four make a fairly good group of friends.
**i guess now this is like... fifth isChris who was my first real friend at my current high school, who convinced me to go out for swimming with him. he is a persuasive genius and can convince anyone that HE IS RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG. we argue a lot. and discuss food combonations involving peanut butter and stuff like cream cheese. he "hates pda" but always manages to have a girlfriend because he looks like a male model. he practically IS one. his current "on and off and on" girl friend is .. Christine.. if you didnt notice, their names really are almost exactly the same]. i wont go into detail about her. i am still admittedly a bit bitter about this whole set up. all in all he is the person i consider myself closest to : \ ....
** sixth and most worstest is Miguel who i am kind of not-so-secretly in love with. for the past two years. ..he's an angry pothead loser who happens to dress in all black and draw like some sort of artistic genius. it is a classic he-ignores-me-so-i-still-love-him type of thing. i have tried [quite unsuccessfully] to fall out of "love" with him but it has yet to work. he and i are the only ones who know about our non-relationship, no one else knows about our non-history. [which involves a series of conversations, glances, and a very embarrassing love-confession-followed-by-rejection incident]
sorry if this is excruciatingly boring to read, you PEDOPHILE STALKER MAN, but i want the general background taken care of so i dont have to deal with it later.bleh!
look. now i will show you the coolest person in the whole entire worldthe whole world