why don't you!

Oh, fending off the suitors left and right! Adam is somewhat turning into stalker status.

I like to think I exist out of Facebook. I hate facebook messages. I think I deserve some real-life conversation if a guy wants to ask me out. i wish there were some way to burn the internets. There's got to be better things than trying to get my attention, you egotistical, sarcastic, pestering boy.
John Mayer -My Stupid Mouth
My vocal chords keep messing things up. I am a splakestic deaker. I mean, dyslexic speaker. If such a condition exists.

Due to my lack of ~girlish~ skills (such as talking sensically) I have decided to cast off romanticism, and become 'one of the guys.' this is:
a) easily accomplished and
b) less bothersome than liking boys

.....................hmm mission accomplished!.................
i spent the last few nights hanging with Max, Ty, Toby and various others lounging around their appartment.
Doing homework, watching the olympics, other man type things..forget romance, slowly, I'll become a man! :(

Ugh. Last weekend I was somehow roped into a group date in which I had to go with Travis. Yes, my roommates "not-boyfriend."
Kelley asked me to go with him because 'i am much less likely to make a move on him' GOSH JUST MACK THE BOY AND GET BACK WITH HIM ALREADY!

I ran into Cody today and I felt stupid, immature, and small. This is most likely due to the obvious differences in our intelligences, ages, and heights.

He hugged me and had more than just a "how ya doin? bye." conversations before we parted ways... It's frustrating to have feelings for someone who is so effing friendly, but just isn't that into you.

Meh. So tomorrow I'm going on a date with Lloyd, a boy in our ward who I don't exactly have feelings for, but I would DIE to mack him. Just because he's so unattainable and uninterested in getting into a relationship before his mission. Funny, it really is true that a guy who doesn't pay attention to a girl increases in his desirability. with every hint of unadvancement, he becomes more coveted!

It must be some sort of mass psychological disorder, because it is truth that no girl REALLY wants a guy who tries for her. and no guy wants a girl who REALLY tries to get him. All of us lounge around longing for the people who don't want us. sigh sigh sigh.

Like, seriously, I would pay half tuition to make out with lloyd and it's not as if he's even drop-dead good-looking. He's cute in an obscure get-to-know-him kind of way.

would it KILL codes to ask me out again? or kiss me? or um.... buy me flowers and like ask me to be his girlfriend and and and..

inexplicably desirable?

sadly, i have returned to this blog.
funny the problems i face in this seemingly normal world. how on earth did i go from ugly little ball of weirdness to the girl on which 3 boys have crushes? HOW? this would not be so terrible if i had any semblance of romantical feelings to either.. threither.. of them!

i mean, honestly. we are all aware that being asked on a 2nd date signifies interest. Adam AND Spence have both confessed they like me, and Jack is hopelessly obvious about it. I am confused. Adam i would expect this from. He is the NCMO who doesn't understand the non-committal part. I have this innate problem of saying 'yes' when i want to say 'NO.' Therefore I am now going on second dates with both Adam and Jack.

I'll have fun with Jack, but i know i will just be counting down the seconds till the date is over, the whole time I'm with Adam, but pretend to be happy. ugh. WHY CAN'T I BE OPENLY MEAN?

I hang out late into the night with Spence pretty often. I've narrowly sidestepped his attempts to kiss me. He's a real flirt, so i thought fun-flirting back would be safe. not saffffe...
sorry, i seem to be awfully incoherent.

Character profiles:

Adam: 19, Major: Linguistics

Build: Brown hair. On the short side, (but as i may have mentioned, ANYone is taller than me) pretty eyes..
Type: apparently me?
Rating: an even 6 .. he kind of looks like leo decap
Personality: misogynistic and egotistical. annoyingly persistent, as it turns out. cleverly funny if you are in the right mood.

Cody: 21, Major: Pre-Med
Build: Blond, green eyes. Very tall, extremely expressive face. cute smile. Alex Skarsgard to a T
Type: tall beautiful girls. or short beautiful girls. Hispanic/asian/black/white/purple girls. Every girl.
Rating: 7.1
Personality: quite quirky, good music taste, knows just enough about tons of things to have a conversation about anything. Kind of shy.

So, obviously i am hopelessly semi-infatuated with Cody, insomuch that i can hardly see any man besides him.

Kelley and Travis have broken up, a fact that neither of them seem to have acknowledged. Sharon has been in her room for all of this.

Dirty Rotten Liar

I don't know whether I am a good or a bad person at heart. I think that generally, I try to look for good things in other people. Some people it's easier for, like with my roommate Sharon, I don't have to try in order to see the good in her. For example, I was about to walk somewhere pretty far away, and she offered me a ride and wouldn't let me leave until I said okay. She is always smiling and super friendly and not stuck-up in the least. I really wish I could be like that.

I've had trouble having Christlike feelings for this one girl.. She has this voice that sounds as if she is just on the verge of crying and everytime she talks, she shouts so everyone can hear her. She is soooo desperate to be accepted and the center of attention. She will tell the same freaking stories over and over again. You know the kind of person. I continue to try to tolerate her because it is the right thing to do, and I am also terrified that she would kill herself if I decided to shun her. It gets increasingly more difficult to be her friend, though, mostly due to the fact that she copies all my little quirks. For example, I have a (probably annoying) habit of saying "sweet" as in "dude, that's sweet" or "where'd you get that sweet t-shirt?" Suddenly SHE is throwing sweets left and right to the point I become superaware of my word usage and have deleted candy from my vocabulary.

I realize I am ranting, but I have to get out my annoyances somewhere! SHE tries her hardest to predict what I am going to say so she can finish my sentences (and, therefore, feel as if she knows me better than she actually does). As secret revenge, I alter my sentences in order to catch her in this. Example, I say "Well, you know, as they say, let them eat-" She interjects "CAKE!" (everything she says should be in all-caps) and I say "cookies covered in cheese"..
I mean, people had enough trouble understanding me before, but my attempts to remain an individual are hindering my comprehensiveness.

I never asked for a clone, I was reaching out mormon-ly to a person in need of companionship. I regret every moment. I should be shot.

I doubt I'll ever get any readers, but for those of you interested, I am currently located in the JKB, the second-most confusing building after the HFAC. I thought I had it figured out and then got lost on the 3rd floor. -sigh-

Codes, still unaware that I am shunning him, texted me yet again. How will he ever realize I am not talking to him if he keeps contacting me?

SHE was nearly tolerable until lately I've found her hanging onto Cody's every last word. In her words "he's a cool kid" the last time she referred to someone as a "cool kid," I had to pick up her miserable heartbroken soggy pieces and it was unpleasant. IN OTHER WORDS: SHE BE AFTER MY MAN!!!! (even if i am ignoring him due to my pridefullness) Although I find her waxing interest in Codessss unthreatening, I have to add yet another item to the list of bothersome. I try to look for good qualities about her, but I can't find any besides the fact she has clear skin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEi3AAz60R0

huh.

So, our bathroom sink is clogged yet again. I wonder how often this happens in men's living places. I mean, I am constantly having to clean out drains because they are clogged with disgustingly long hairs and gunk. Man, it's nearly enough to make me shave my head.

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Well, I suppose one thing to talk about is the atrocious eating habits one acquires whilst at college. Of course there is the typical ramen diet, but what becomes acceptable as a meal progressively degrades until you find yourself eating peanut butter on somewhat moldy bread three times a day. I have yet to =quite= reach this point, but I am not far off. Mom would not be proud. Don't hear much from mom anyway, Katherine's mom calls here every now and then, but I think I've been forgotten.

Things haven't been going well between me and Colin. By not well, I mean not talking to each other. I'm fairly certain he has not noticed this fact. The obliviousity of men-types astonishes me. All I know is I am on the verge of NCMO with Spencer, this one preemie I've cuddled with on multiple occasions. Spencer is a mormon man-whore but this whole back and forth with Colin has definetly shaken the line of who I will and will not do. Katherine, among nearly all the freshmen in our ward, disapproves of NCMO. Thus, I do not mention it often, but I think of it constantly. Spencer's lost like 5 more pounds and I do like them thin.