huhm

Today I saw a photo of Jason and I got this odd feeling. "He used to be my best friend" kind of feeling. And now I don't feel a thing. I could die and he wouldn't know. I could never talk to him again, and it wouldn't matter. It's such an odd feeling for one to be so detached from one's past life. It's kind of like everything that happened before I came to BYU wasn't real. It's weird to say that none of my old friends mean a thing to me anymore. To think that all those faces in the yearbook were ones I never wanted to forget. It's a whole other world.............

It's definitely not a sad feeling in the slightest. Just weird to know that if I were to see him tomorrow, Jace would expect me to stop and talk to him and catch up. But I would walk right on by, I think.

I've reached a point in my life in which I am no longer interested in pretending. That's why I cut out on Thanksgiving dinner today. If I know I'm going to be put into a situation where everything spouting out of my mouth will be generic lies about my major and future plans, I may as well not go. Because I won't contribute anything. Only a whole world of fakeness.

How weak all our links are. Such fading after only a year.